Book Promotional titled, "Divorce Rape".
Available at:        http://www.lulu.com/abecfathers

Children should not be victims of the family courts that involve corruption and parent alienation tactics by one parent's mission. The family court system should protect the children from such horrible methods.  

Abe C. Fathers
Email: abecfathers@gmail.com

Book Testimonial

Mr. Fathers has contributed his tragic and yet too common separation biography and for that we are grateful. His story sets out the painful journey of too many, ‘everyman’ husbands and fathers who are unprepared in every possible way for their entry into the dark and troubling universe that is to be their future for some time, if not forever.

For many dads the end of the marriage challenges their long held values and plays havoc with their view of themselves as a good partner, a good father and a good provider. All of this comes out as Mr. Fathers relates his life as a parenting partner in an intact family and the impact of the sudden end to his family life as he understood it should be.

The strength of this book lies in Mr. Fathers’ willingness to tell it as it is through his eyes. In doing so he reveals his flaws and on occasion you want to give him a shake. Yet his weaknesses are those of every man and every woman wounded by the potential lifelong loss of their children and all that they value. He is imperfect and his imperfections are the gift of his story to all of us involved in the separation dance.

There is no Hollywood ending; no Kramer vs. Kramer or Pursuit of Happiness turnaround to brighten our day. There is only a minimum of hope - Mr. Fathers is by chance still standing and has found a new life partner and support.

Resiliency is often the most important human quality necessary to make it through this ultimate life crisis. Some people seem to have more than enough for everyone. Mr. Fathers has reminded us that resiliency is sometimes acquired only over time, in increments from the love and support of significant persons in our life.

It is revealed through Mr. Fathers when he manages to simply get up every morning and carry on in his darkest moments; it is apparent when he sees joy in life's smallest gifts. With each successive day he and all these everyman fathers are regaining their equilibrium for their continuing, uncertain travels as parents.

The contribution from Divorce Rape is in its raw biography and our personal dissection of what it teaches us.

We accompany Mr. Fathers along his dark road to nowhere and pray that at some future time, sooner than later, his and our life’s path and that of our children will again intersect …for a lifetime



—Barry Lillie-Executive Director of Kids ‘n’ Dad Shared Support 
 
 
April 25 was Parental Alienation Awareness Day.  This is an important day to be promoted to help the family courts and lawmakers to recognize the injustices being done in the family courts in order to improve the fairness to both parents and their children.  Most people do not know about Parental Alienation until they experience it.  This is how I learned about when I experienced ex-wife unexpected separation from me and my children acting out against me after this happened.  At that time, I still did not know why such a change was happening.  About three months later, I only come to discover that this was a documented issue with divorces through some searching on the Web and a book store about divorce problems with children.  I discovered at the book store a booked called "Divorce Poison" written by Dr. Richard Warshak.  By reading this book, it had helped me to realize my problems were being described there.  I was able to validate my problems with Parental Alienation by sharing them with a family therapist who was also working with my children.

Here are some key aspects involved with this horrible problem:

1) Loss of parenting by a victimized parent.

2) Children being wounded emotionally by a damaged and abusive parent.

3) Extended families becoming disposable, forgotten victims of alienating behavior directed at their parenting son or daughter.

4) The failure of those with the responsibility and authority (Family and Children Services, Family Courts, etc.) to intervene ‘early enough’ with a directed and ordered program  with counseling support.


I would like to reflect on my situation to share the state of my case as a victim of Parental Alienation to help others become aware of my problem which is being repeated by many others through my research of this issue.  This may also help to support others who are also facing this horrible problem.  

 It has now been over seven years since the separation happened in January 2005 and I have no relationship with my 20 year old son, 18 year old son, and now only a couple court ordered visits with my 17 year old daughter.  Since the divorce date of January 2007, I do not get updates from the mother about my children from medical to school information.  The court ordered the mother to provide me this information but it has not been provided by the mother.  The mother has made it difficult for me to make visits with my children and the court has not provided me any scheduled times until now.  The court has ordered the mother to take my children to counseling to help my children develop a relationship with me but the mother has done very little to follow this order.  The major problem with all of these orders is that there is no one from the family court monitoring these kind of orders and the orders are not very specific.  The only thing being monitored is the child support payments.

This is injustice to parents who are victims of this terrible problem.  This is a form of abuse to both children and the victimized parent.  Recently, the news media has brought the attention to the abusive behavior of "bullying"  in schools to cause this issue for state governments to recognize the addition of new anti-bullying laws are needed to help deter this problem.  Where are the laws to deter Parental Alienation?  I ask you to consider this issue to be just as important to each of us, children and families.


Abe C. Fathers